Monday, August 11, 2014 5:04 AM Into The West

This morning, I was singing in the shower. Because why would you NOT do that? And I tell you what, Into The West has taken on a WHOLE new meaning in my life.

But first!

A rundown of my week!

Mondee

I HAD THE BEST BIRTHDAY EVER! It was flipping beautiful. As previously discussed, my morning rocked. Balloons, streamers, pancakes, email, a pink whale who has been named Bernice - what more could a girl ask for? After that we went to see a castle called Gniew (which means Anger, so that's fun) with Stanley and Elder Jourdan and Elder Jaeger. Then that castle was small, so we went to Malbork. By the time we got there, we didn't have a whole lot of time, so we didn't actually go in. But we DID walk around it! And that was fun. We had a GRAND old time! Castles are SUPER cool. After that we had a meeting as missionaries in the chapel. But first we ate, because we were starving. Okay. So. Meeting. We were about to start, and then Elder Jaeger was like, "Okay. Let's go into the big room for a second." So we were like, "Uh. Okay." And we get out there, and Elder Jaeger was like, "We know it's not a normal pole, but we had to keep up your birthday tradition." So I got bungee corded to a pillar by the elders. Don't worry. There are pictures. Birthday = COMPLETE. It was fabulous. Honestly, it was the BEST BIRTHDAY EVER (that could happen to a person on a mission). I am feeling CRAZY flipping blessed.

Tuesdee

We had District Meeting. Yay! We went to Manekin with the Tufties and elders for dinner to celebrate my birthday. Yay again! It was SUPER delicious. I'm going to miss Manekin. I mean, I can make naleśniki at home, easy peasy rice and cheesey. But Manekin just does it SO MUCH BETTER than I could! Oh life. What am I going to do?

Wednesdee

We went to Gdynia. Then we got flaked. Then we preached the Good Word on the streets and no one listened. Yaaaaaaaay.

Thursdee

We vacuumed at Marinella's. That was fun! She's adorable.

Fridee

Planning. Preaching. Eating. ... Not a whole lot to write home about. (And yet, here I am. Writing home about it. Go figure.)

Saturdee

We went to Ines' mieszkanie and took wallpaper off her walls. That was fun! She talked about polygamy the whole time because she found out I'm Brigham Young's great-something granddaughter. She told me to tell someone important (because naturally I have connections, being the granddaughter of a prophet) that the church needs to be more open about Brigham Young being a polygamist. Apparently she's under the impression it's some kind of great secret. If only she knew ... We had dinner at the Tufts with the elders and Bohdan and his wife Basia. And a random Ukrainian member named Sergei who showed up at the chapel this morning. That was nice! I love those Tufts.

Sundee

We visited less active Basia, bless her heart. She's the sweetest thing! Then we went to the Harker's house for dinner with the Tufts and the elders. It was SUPER delicious. And fun. Bless those American members. They are SO handy.

And now, your feature presentation ...

This morning, I was singing in the shower. Because why would you NOT do that? And I tell you what, Into The West has taken on a WHOLE new meaning in my life.

Take a looksie at these lyrics.

Lay down,
Your sweet and weary head.
Night is falling,
You have come to journey's end.

Sleep now,
Dream of the ones who came before.
They are calling,

From across the distant shore.

Why do you weep?
What are these tears upon your face?

Soon you will see,
All of your fears will pass away,

Safe in my arms.
You're only sleeping.

What can you see,

On the horizon.
Why do the white gulls call?

Across the sea,

A pale moon rises.
The ships have come,
To carry you home.

And all will turn,
To silver glass,

A light on the water,

Gray ships pass.

Hope fades,

Into the world of night.
Through shadows falling,

Out of memory and time.
Don't say,

We have come now to the end.

White shores are calling,
You and I will meet again.

And you'll be here,
In my arms,

Just sleeping.

What can you see,
On the horizon.
Why do the white gulls call?
Across the sea,
A pale moon rises.
The ships have come,
To carry you home.
And all will turn,
To silver glass,
A light on the water,
All souls pass,

Into the west.

(If the lyrics aren't EXACTLY right, my bad. This is from memory. And my memory isn't perfect.)

Basically, I'm in a state. A state of emotional confusion and exhaustion. And I don't know what to feel anymore. I have spent so long waiting for this moment. I've spent so long being excited to go home. But now that it's here, I don't know. I'm not sure I'm ready to let go. I don't want to leave Poland. I don't want to leave my mission. I don't want to leave behind all these people that I love - all these wonderful people and members and missionaries. I don't think I'm ready. But what are you going to do? I can't stay here. I just - I don't know. I don't know what I want. I guess what I want is to feel at peace with all this.

And I think I do.

I was freaking out hard on Saturday. I was crying. Monty was crying. We were a mess. And then a blessing sounded like a REALLY good idea.

So yesterday, before we went out to the Harker's, I asked Elder Jourdan to give me a blessing. And it helped. A lot. It was beautiful, and it's really helped me to be at peace with everything. I'm still sad, and I'm still excited, and I'm still a little scared, but overall I feel okay about everything.

Even though it's hard. It's hard to say goodbye to your life, you know?

It's funny. Leaving home was hard. Super crazy hard. But I knew I was going to come back and see my family again and life would return to a relative sense of a normal and it would be fine. And I was going to be really excited to be home again. Which I am. PLEASE don't get me wrong. I am CRAZY excited. But it's funny, because I'm finding that leaving Poland is MUCH harder than leaving home was. I don't know if I'm ever coming back here. And I know I'm never going to go back to this life. This is kind of it. It's the end. Like, a real end.

I hate endings.

They are dumb.

But I'll get over it.

With all that being said, this is my last email home. (As far as I know.) And I want you all to know - I want EVERYONE to know - how much I love my mission, how much I love the Gospel, and how much I love my Savior. This church is true. It's His church, and it brings more happiness in this life than anything else. This church is about eternity. In eternity, there are no endings. And right now especially, I'm really grateful for that.

Chciałabym podzielić się z wami moim świadectwem po polsku, bo teraz czuję że język polskiego jest językiem wszystkiego duchownego (tak się dzieje, jak służysz na misji w Polsce). Ja wiem że Jezus Chrystus żyje. On jest naszym Zbawicielem, Odkupicielem, i Bratem. On nas kocha, a On nas zna. On dał swoje życie dla nas, abyśmy mogli żyć. Dzięki Niemu, możemy się zmienić - i dla tego jestem bardzo wdzięczna, bo dużo mam się zmienić. Dzięki Niemu, możemy przezwyciężyć śmierć. Dzięki Niemu, możemy wracać do naszego Ojca w niebie pewnego dnia. Kościół Jezusa Chrystusa Świętych w Dniach Ostatnich jest jedynym prawdziwym kościołem na ziemi. W tym kościele, znajdują się kluczy kapłaństwa Boga. Jestem bardzo wdzięczna za te kluczy, bo dzięki nim mogę żyć z swoją rodziną po tym życiu, i przez wieczność. Kocham moją rodzinę. Kocham Jezusa Chrystusa, i naszego Ojca Niebiańskiego. To wszystko mówię, w imię naszego Zbawiciela, Jezusa Chrystusa, amen.

Have fun Google translating THAT puppy. (... Also. If Google translate doesn't work because the Polish is imperfect, don't be hatin'. A year and a half is NOT enough time to speak perfect Polish. I'm sorry. I wish it were otherwise!)

I love you all, and I can't wait to see you all! (Because let's get real here, the ones I don't see in Utah next week I'll definitely see SOMETIME soonish! It's fine. Just go with it.)

Siostra Anna Lin Young