Monday, March 31, 2014 5:26 AM Reflections. And Other Stuff.

You know what? I've been thinking this week. I do that, every so often. And this week, as I was thinking, my mind was being BLOWN. Because - you may want to prepare yourself for this, because it's about to get real - I AM IN POLAND. ON A MISSION.

Okay.

Am I the ONLY ONE freaking out right now?

My mind is blown. Let's reflect, little ducklings, upon my past life.

REFLECTIONS UPON SIOSTRA YOUNG'S PAST LIFE

I am the kid who was SO SCARED to talk to people, I made Annlie ask my teachers if I could use the bathroom back in elementary school. Yeah. That's a true story.

I am the kid who hated talking in class SO MUCH that my sophomore year of college (yes. SOPHOMORE YEAR of COLLEGE), when I was in a class where the teacher called on students randomly to make comments, I was literally sick every Tuesday and Thursday at 9 a.m. Like clockwork.

I am the kid who cried like a baby when my dad went on business trips for three or four days (and that didn't even happen very often), because I missed him so much. I would cry when he called each night. There were actual tears.

I am the kid who made plans to NOT go on a mission. If only so I didn't have to speak in church. And besides that, I didn't think I'd survive without my family for a year and a half. And I'm a picky eater.

Now, with ALL THAT in mind, let's reflect on my life now.

REFLECTIONS UPON SIOSTRA YOUNG'S CURRENT LIFE (AS OF ONE YEAR AGO)

I am living in Poland.

I am speaking Polish.

With Poles.

I talk to strangers BASICALLY all the time.

I have moved five times.

I have spoken with my family on the phone three times.

Haven't seen them at all.

I missed my sister's wedding.

I eat weird food.

Are we seeing the change here? Good. That's the point I am trying to illustrate. As I was thinking, I came to a conclusion. There are two constants in life. Just two of them. And this first is this:

CHANGE.

That is maybe my least favorite word in the whole dictionary. I am a creature of habit. I find my thing, and i do my thing, and THAT is how I do. I was born an English speaker. I quite enjoy speaking English. I was born in the US. It's a nice country. I LOVE living there. I eat my narrow selection of foods, I talk to my narrow selection of friends, and I go to my narrow selection life activities (n.p. school and work and my house). That is how I do. Boom, son. There she is. And then ALL the sudden, my life is QUITE different. I'm living in Poland, I am SO not with my family it isn't even funny, I'm talking to strangers all the time, I'm speaking Polish for Pete's sake. My life is VASTLY different now. And it just keeps changing, too! I'm CONSTANTLY changing investigators and cities and companions and branches. Change is ALL over the freakin' place. Because change is a constant.

However. I'm learning to be okay with change. I still don't love it. I'm not a huge fan. But I'm okay with it.

And do you know why?

The second constant.

THE GOSPEL.

No matter what the heck happens in my life, the Gospel is there. It doesn't change, it doesn't conform, it doesn't waver. It is ROCK SOLID.

And that's why I'm in Poland. I'm telling you, if there were ANY OTHER motivation for me being in Poland, I would've hit the bricks forever ago. The only thing that has kept me alive and relatively sane through this whole experience is the Gospel. (Which is good, because my mission is basically the Gospel plus Polish)

Being away from the places and people I love - yeah. That's hard. Of course it's hard! And changing the things I do everyday, and changing my very person - that's pretty freaking hard too. But in spite of all that, I'm really quite happy. Because of the Gospel. The Gospel is SO good. And I know that no matter what happens, as long as I've got the Gospel in my life, I'm going to be okay. I'm going to be TOTALLY fine. The Gospel keeps me grounded and happy and it just ROCKS. I never realized before, how good it really is. I mean, I liked it and everything. I had a testimony. If I didn't, I wouldn't have gone on a mission in the first place. And now, looking back on my life from the past year, I am SO GLAD I DID. Because out here, I've needed the Gospel in a way that I never needed it before. Because it's the only thing I have left from my life before. And my life before - it was really good. I was really happy. But I didn't understand the Gospel in the simple and practical way that I do now. I didn't see how it was a part of every facet of my life. And maybe that's because then, it wasn't. But going forward, I can see how the Gospel isn't even just a part of my life anymore. It IS my life. There isn't a single aspect of my life that isn't affected by it. That's something I NEVER want to forget.

That's another thing. I've been reading in First Nephi, and dang it - Laman and Lemuel are ALWAYS FORGETTING. They forget what the Lord has done for them, they forget their father and brother are prophets called of God, they forget they've seen a flipping angel. Forgetting isn't an active thing. It's not like you stop, and decide, "Alright. Starting NOW I'm going to forget." Forgetting is passive. It happens when we stop reminding ourselves - and reminding and remembering are DEFINITELY active things. You have to be working to remember.

I don't EVER want to forget the amazing experiences I've had. I don't EVER want to forget how the Gospel has blessed me here in Poland, and in my life before. I don't EVER want to forget how very blessed I am. I just don't want to forget.

And that means I'm going to have to work. And I am MORE than willing to work to remember. Because the Gospel is SO GOOD.

Anyways. Reflections.

And now, the promised Other Stuff.

I got to see/talk to some of my favorite missionaries this week! It was beautiful.

I discovered I love spinach. Mom - don't freak out.

My companion and I created our district band. We're going to rock the world.

I went to a primary activity! The first one our branch has EVER had. It was beautiful. I love children. SO MUCH. They are great little people.

The End!

I love you all EVER SO MUCH!

I apologize for the randomness of the email. It was just one of those days, you know? (I think I have "one of those days" every time I email ... Seriously. Apologies.)

Much love!

Siostra Young